It can be tricky to determine exactly when casual sex became casual. For the majority of Americans, casual sex was always casual. It was something your parents probably did or, even worse, something you had to have. It’s mostly the seed of casual sex that hasn’t been watered yet. When anything is casual, it’s when it was in between the casual and committed spaces. I do think the laws of social evolution apply to this. We’re becoming more obsessed with casual sex and the casual mentality, but the actual practice of casual sex is slowly becoming a more social expectation.
Do you have any tips for casual sex?
We need to be willing to confront the realities of casual sex and not just look to it as a solution to what we don’t want. Part of that is being clear about why you and the other person are having sex. If you’re having sex because you’re having terrible monogamy luck, that’s a whole other problem. If you’re having sex because you’re scared of emotional commitment, there are better ways to protect yourself. If you’re having sex because you’re trying to find love, you probably should have. The “problems” that occur in casual sex are that individuals aren’t looking at why they’re having sex.
Also, casual sex needs to be taken out of the hands of the “average” person, and become something that is seen as a viable alternative for all people. The problematic part of casual sex is that you can feel very all over the place about the topic. It’s not an easy, black and white, no gray way to experience sex — and in this case, the “gray” zone happens when you’re having casual sex because the person looks like they might be interested, or you think you might be interested, but you don’t know how to talk about those feelings in a way that could actually progress anything. That’s where the gray comes in, and it’s something that casual sex just needs to be led by those on both sides.
Do you think casual sex is bad for your relationship?
I don’t think casual sex is bad for the social bond that most couples maintain. I do think it’s bad for the only two people involved — this is why it can be considered bad for your relationship. It’s really simple — if you have an expectation that sex has to always have a relationship behind it, and you’re okay with that, then you’re not being realistic about sexuality. There’s a great deal of sexual frustration for the casual person.
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That being said, many people don’t realize that casual sex can still be dangerous. Just because you’re hooking up, it doesn’t automatically mean it’s a safe situation. Sexually transmitted diseases and pregnant hookups can be a thing, and people are increasingly having relationships just to have sex, which can lead to many other problems.
Even if you aren’t seeking a pregnancy, if you engage in casual sex you could still be facing a variety of STDs, like chlamydia. There are pills out there to treat the symptoms, but in your case, it’s more likely you’ll have to deal with the cramps. “Condoms are as important to sexual health as eating right,” says Cosmo’s sex writer, Erika Cardona.

An interactive guide to properly using the opposite sex for sex — and more

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What is casual sex anyway?

It’s hard to talk about the hookup culture without talking about the role it plays in casual sex. It’s a scene (and club-scene and night-life scene) that revolves around the pursuit of casual sex, and has a lot to do with how sex has changed in recent years. To find a casual partner, whether for the night or just a hookup, there are now so many ways to do so that you don’t even need to meet in person, if you’re too old or shy to do that. At the same time, we’ve normalized casual sex in many ways, with a lot of people having it for the first time.

Simply put, sex is now so easy that it’s now often seen as meaningless, and casual sex, rather than representing some unhealthy thing, is seen as something natural and normal. “It’s part of growing up,” said Dr. Laura Berman of Partners & Phoenix, in an interview with The Cut. “It’s how young people meet people, how they fall in love, where they go after college and what they do in their lives.”

Part of the reason casual sex is on the rise is because it takes so little effort or stress. However, it also comes at a price, and that’s worth knowing the ins and outs of before getting into casual sex.

The cost of casual sex

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